chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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