i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
