Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
