Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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