some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
