Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
