literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
