i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize