i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My life is pants optional.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
