So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
is it fun? or sober?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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