i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
