Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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