she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
