well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
