The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
