Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
