apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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