we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
