Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
