do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
