Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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