I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Never underestimate the power of titties
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
