its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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