I'm really into asian looking animals
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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