Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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