I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
