Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
