apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it's like heaven, but drunker
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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