Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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