Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
