I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
