That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
