Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pants are for mortals
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