Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
