i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
