he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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