are you still at the devil's house?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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