At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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