Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
