i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
