why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
