Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
