You smell like stripper and shame
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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