I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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