well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
