I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
