i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
