ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
