my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
