Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just invented taco cereal.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
