I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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