it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
