At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
