worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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