She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize