I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was born a porn star she said
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
