mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
