And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
