My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
