You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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