After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm too high and old for this...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
