there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
