Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize