What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
