no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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