There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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