If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
