i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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