tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
