I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
