I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
