would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
