No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
