i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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