Got a toothbrush?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
