My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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