dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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