I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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