Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
